When Dolly Alderton wrote about love in her Sunday Times best-selling memoir Everything I Know About Love, she didn’t write about the stereotypical kind of love. Not the Sunday night on the sofa kind of love or the Facebook status changing kind of love, it’s really about the beauty of female friendship and the turbulence of your twenties.
Dolly held my hand as she took me through all the feelings I have felt during my twenties. It was almost like we were sharing a glass of wine in her Camden flat whilst she recalled all her drunken escapades and heartbreaks.
Never trust a man who buys you a soft-toy duck on Valentines day and then ghosts you.
I wanted to write a similar list of all of the things I have learnt about love up until this point in my life, as I am sure it will change as I get older. I want to write this so I have something to look back on.
- There’s no bond as strong as the bond between a mother and her child, and the love I have for my mum is limitless. She was the first person I ever loved and I know that no matter what happens in life or how far I travel she will always be there with me.
- Developing a friendship before a relationship is the ingredients to a good partnership. I was a friend and colleague to my boyfriend before we decided to start dating. He is first and foremost my best friend and this has made for the best relationship I have ever been in.
- No-one else is responsible for your happiness, and no matter how ferociously you love someone, they are not the answer to making you whole, you have to do that on your own.
- Lust feels like love and can trick you into believing otherwise, but don’t succumb to it.
- Summer love should remain summer love. Don’t drag out a long-distance relationship and then leave your country to re-light that summer spark, you’ll just waste a year of your life and will end up heartbroken.
- If you get bad vibes, trust that feeling, you are right don’t over analyse it, get your coat on and leave.
- You’re not going to find proper love on Tinder, you might think you’ve found it but chance are you’ll be wasting your time.
- Never trust a man who buys you a soft-toy duck on Valentines day and then ghosts you.
- Don’t sleep with your boss, you’ll find out he has a girlfriend and that he just enjoyed the thrill of the chase. Also there’s no getting away from the awkwardness, as much as you try to be professional.
- Don’t go back to an ex out of convenience, there’s other people out there and there is a reason you broke up.
- Never trust someone that doesn’t like dogs or animals, they are probably serial killers.
- True friends will show up when you least expect them too, and they are often there through the hard times.
- One night stands are terrible, and it’ll take you a little while to work that out.
- Love isn’t something that is dictated by your weight. If you are 14 stone instead of 11 stone, this doesn’t mean your partner will love you any less.
- Chances are you will outgrow your first love but you weren’t expecting them to become pansexual… OK maybe you had a little inkling.
- Don’t give your energy to friends that don’t really love you, no matter how hard you’ll try to be accepted by them, it won’t be good enough and it’ll leave you feeling hollow.
- You’ll get depressed and fall in love with a TV show which will bring you comfort on your dark days… uhumm…. Grey’s Anatomy.
- People express love in different ways, and the way your family love you isn’t exactly the same idea as the way you want to be loved, but once you realise that everyone is different, you’ll make peace with that fact.
- Self-love is important don’t try to resist it embrace it and be kind to yourself. Take yourself out for a cappuccino and have a cry every now and again, it is good for you.
This was a great read to get me eased into my Monday morning… and I’m 36. All your points are very true… Very best wishes Anna
Thank you Anna, have a lovely day x
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