To naturally selfless people the concept of self-care can seem like an alien principle. But when the needs and wants of others, start to negatively outweigh your own happiness, it is important to take a step back and re-evaluate yourself and your own worth.
Self-care is about taking care of your own emotional and mental well being without malice or intent to hurt anyone else. This is where selfishness comes in – selfishness is a sheer lack of consideration for others.
So why is it that we struggle to put our needs first? Is it because we don’t feel worthy or important enough? Or maybe we’re scared of how others will react? Sometimes we feel guilty for taking time out for ourselves because we don’t want appear selfish and/ or lazy and we’re bombarded by our financial responsibilities.
I’d like to demonstrate to you, the difference between practising guilt-free self care without being selfish.
- Self-care can include spending time with friends, whereas selfishness excludes or uses others for your own personal gain.
- Self-care can be doing something kind for someone you know because you enjoy seeing them happy. The concept of kindness to a selfish person is superfluous.
- Selfishness is when someone does something self-serving to get ahead, knowing that they are affecting others in a negative way. You do not intend to hurt others when practising self-care.
- Practising self-care can be beneficial to others as well as yourself. If you enter environments relaxed and rejuvenated, and not feeling stressed; you will be a better person to be around.
- Selfish people have an underlying lack of confidence and constantly need verification from others; where-as people who take care of themselves have the confidence to do so, without the need for approval from others.
To conclude; there is a fine line between self-care and selfishness, but the key words here are balance and boundaries. Finding the balance between the both self-care and selfishness takes trial and error, but as long as you learn set the boundaries in your relationships with others, you will learn how to be kind and how love yourself.